Easily the best episode of
The Simpsons of last season is when the family went to China to accompany Selma when she was adopting a Chinese baby. It's remarkable in that most of the jokes were actually funny, unlike much of the last half-decade of episodes. A few days after it aired as a re-run, I "acquired" a copy of the episode and took some screenshots. I even wrote an article with the screenshots but it appears that, via
the 'china' tag on del.icio.us,
someone else had this idea too: the TaiwanIndependence weblog has taken some captures and transcribed the quotes, and even added some comentary. My favourite part of the episode is when the MC comes on to say that the star performer "suffered a bullet-related death" after suffering from "an onset of outspoken-ness".
The TaiwanIndependence weblog doesn't quote my two favourite parts of the episode thuogh. First is when the bureaucrat and Selma are talking about the adoptions papers (I didn't notice the part about the maps though!), so here's that exchange:
Chinese bureaucrat: Madame, your adoption application is in perfect order. Except for one thing.
Selma: [Gulps]
Chinese bureaucrat: You forgot to fill out the name of your husband.
Selma: Husband...
Chinese bureaucrat: Of course. The Chinese government only allows wholesome married couples to adopt. No hen without cock. I apologize if that is a double entendre in your language. It is not in ours.
The other great bit not quoted in the TaiwanIndependence article was the dialogue between the two guards as they saw Homer, covered in gold, looking like Buddha:
Security guard #1: A Buddha statue! We cannot leave it outside! It is bad feng shui!
Security guard #2: Feng shui? I thought that was just a trick to sell crappy end-tables to the West.